Bar Mitzvah Check List

Before your child enters 3rd Grade

Register for Communal Hebrew School (3rd through 6th grade)

2-3 years before your intended Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Attend Service and Orientation Meeting

Put your intended date on the Synagogue calendar

Contact a synagogue or temple when your child is less than ten years old

Learn about the process and timeframe required to prepare your child for the event

Formal Bar/Bat Mitzvah lessons usually begin one year prior to the scheduled date

Decide on the style of the event- one that suits your lifestyle and budget

Contact potential service providers, caterers and entertainers. Word of mouth is
usually the most reliable source for narrowing down your choices. Decide if you want
to use a party planner who will coordinate all of the service providers for you

1-1½ year(s) before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date (no later than 12 months)

Parents and student meet with Rabbi for prayer book orientation

Student begins attending Shabbat Club

Parents and student meet with the Cantor to continue orientation and Hebrew assessment

Book location, entertainment, photographer/videographer, and party decorator (florist)
All will require non- refundable deposits so make sure that you are certain about your choices

Select a "theme" and/or color scheme for the event. Include your child in this aspect of the
planning- keeping his or her preferences in mind

Help your child decide on a community service or bar/bat mitzvah project idea. Many families
find that the meaningfulness of the event is enhanced when a "tzedakah" project is established

6-10 months before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date (no later than 7 months)

Begin meeting weekly with the Cantor

Review prayers from Communal Hebrew School and Shabbat Club

Student begins learning Torah & Haftarah portions

Develop a guest list with current addresses

Begin to Plan Menu

Select and order invitations. Order thank you notes, direction cards (if needed),
napkins and guest towels at this time. Always order more invitations than you think
you are going to need. Reprints of small quantities can be costly

Keep your eyes open for interesting stamps-they add a nice touch to the envelope
Decide on centerpieces for tables and any other decorations. "Sign in boards" a
re a popular bar/bat mitzvah element and should be ordered at this time (usually through the florist/decorator).

Choose party favors for guests. These are usually theme and color related and are
given to the younger guests at the celebration. and reply card

Arrange out-of-town guest accommodations . Many hotels offer special rates for large
blocks of rooms; so inquire in your area

Stay in close contact with your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutor to keep abreast of your
child's progress. Keep a calm encouraging attitude towards your child as he or she
progresses through the course of study

Decide if you will be offering other events throughout the weekend. Many families
invite close friends and family to a Friday Evening Shabbat Dinner before the big event
and a Sunday brunch

Decide on valet

Decide on reception bags in the hotel rooms for out of town guests 3 months before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Parents and student meet with Cantor Warner to review Mitzvah project and reading assignment progress

Parents turn in Facility Use Agreement to Mark Rubenstein for luncheon reception and/or evening
reception use of the Synagogue

Finalize all party selections such as menu, centerpieces, and decorations

Make appointments for hair stylists, barbers, and manicurists as needed

Order personalized yarmulkes 2 months before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Mail invitations- number the back of the response cards to correspond to your guest list to ensure accuracy

Create Candle-Lighting Ceremony. Work with your child to ensure that you are writing
something that he or she feels comfortable reciting at the big event

Coordinate the entertainers and caterers to ensure that "time frames" match. Develop a
time-line for the event that includes formalities, horas/dances and food services

Encourage your child to practice his or her service out loud

Order any necessary kosher dinners two Tuesdays before event

Mail out second mailing to out of town guests six weeks before

Assign seating 1-1½ month(s) before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Student finishes learning all necessary prayers, Torah and Haftarah portions and completes majority of Mitzvah project and reading assignments

Parents turn in Order of Service & Bulletin Information

Reconfirm all service providers

Develop a seating plan

Coordinate a rehearsal time with your temple. Many temples allow you to video this event in lieu of the actual service

Arrange hospitality baskets for out-of-town guests. Include a schedule of events and detailed directions

Coordinate out-of-town guest transportation to and from airports and events 3 Weeks before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Meet with Rabbi to begin D’var Torah (speech) and to review student’s progress. (½ hr.) 1-2 weeks before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Meet with Rabbi to review and continue working on D’var Torah

Confirm final guest count with caterer. Remember that once you have guaranteed a number,
this is what you will be responsible to pay for even if fewer guests show up

Adjust seating arrangements

Pack an "emergency kit" to keep handy- sewing kit, extra makeup, hairbrushes, stockings etc. 1week before Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date

Relax If you've done everything as listed on this list, you are done. Enjoy your Simcha

Gift bags delivered to hotels by your party planner day before

Some books to consider

More Advice and Guides: For more guidance in planning your celebration we recommend the following books:

• The Complete Bar/Bat Mitzvah Book: Everything You Need to Plan a Meaningful Celebration - This is a practical guide about planning and preparing both spiritually and physically for the coming-of-age celebration.

• The Complete Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planner: An Indispensable, Money-Saving Workbook for Organizing Every Aspect of the Event-From Temple Service to Reception - This is a workbook for planning your celebration. Also includes money-saving advice.